04 May 2024

Honouring my late son, Israel & tourism.

Peter was the first child born to Helen & Joseph; first grandchild to Thelma & Les in Melbourne, and to Chaya & Yehuda in Sydney; and first great grandchild to Sarah and Peter. He was conceived in Israel, born in Brit­ain in 1972, went to pre-school in Perth and arrived in Melbourne ready for school. He had already been able to read by the time he was aged 3.5, so the biggest issue was to find the right way to st­im­ul­ate his intellect while quietening his excitement. 

Peter helping tourists
in his Tel Aviv office 

He later went to Mount Scopus College Melbourne with his brother Aron, the school that his mother, two uncles and all 5 of his maternal cousins had gone to. He loved English literature, Hebrew, history, pol­itics and ec­on­­om­ics, but less thrilled with physics, chemistry and biol­ogy. On Shabbat he went to a youth movement, and on Sun­d­ays he played sports and music. Carlton was his AFL football pass­ion, deb­ated in detail with his beloved Blues-supporting grand­father Les.

After school he couldn’t wait to do business studies at RMIT, graduating Bachelor of Business (Property) and maintaining his interest in politics by becoming the president of a Young Liberals branch. He was a brave rebel, considering his family had been devoted Labourites for 3 generations.

In 2001 Peter made Aliya to Israel because, he said, the girls were the prettiest in the world, half his family lived there and business opportunities for a young man were wond­erful. He married a beautiful, clever wife, improved his Hebrew from "accept­able" to "fluent", and had a precious son Ben.

He opened a travel agency called Peter Tours and became a tour operator centred in Tel Aviv. The agency provided land arr­an­g­e­ments in Israel, Jordan and Egypt, so Peter travelled yearly to plan tours for specialist groups eg Jewish travellers and Ch­ris­t­ian pil­grims from Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, France, Belgium, China and South Korea. Only when Covid caused tourists to stay in their own countr­ies did the travel industry suffer terribly.

Peter and his son lead a group to the Golan Heights
 
Here was one of Naftali’s favourite Israel Short Tours:
1. Go to Jerusalem hotel and visit the city. 
2. Explore the biblical and cultural high­lights of Old and New Jerus­al­em. Sights include Mount Zion, Old City and Western Wall, Stat­ions of the Cross and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Yad Vashem Holocaust Museum. On Saturdays instead of Yad Vashem, go to Ein Karem, the birthplace of John the Baptist. Stroll in the narrow lanes of the picturesque neighbourhood, stop­ping by Mary’s spring and visit the remark­able Church of Saint John the Baptist.
3. Descend from Jerusalem to the lowest place on earth. Drive along the shores of the Dead Sea to the rock fortress of Masada. Visit Herod’s palace, 2000 years old. Discuss the zealots who defied the Roman Empire. Float in the Dead Sea; the water is rich in salts and miner­als! 
4. Leave north to Na­zar­eth, Joseph and Mary’s town. Visit Church of the An­nunciat­ion. Continue to Sea of Galilee via Canna to visit Capern­aum ruins & visit Tabgha re the Miracle of the Fishes and Loaves. Return via Yardenit baptisms. 
5. Caesarea and the Coastal Plain In Caesarea visit the Crusader Fortress, with its unique dry moat, and the Roman Theatre. Then go to the port city of Haifa to view the magnificent Bahai Gardens from atop Mount Carmel. Go north to Acre to explore the Knig­hts’ Halls and the secret escape tunnel dug by the Crusaders. Visit­ Rosh Hanikra, most northern coastal point & walk via beaut­iful grottos. 
6. Farewell group & guides. Visit Tel Aviv at your leisure

The best tour Peter organised for our family was Jordan:
1. Drive to Sheik Hussein Bridge to cross into Jordan. Explore Jerash, ancient Roman city of the Decapolis. Visit the Cit­adel and Roman Amphitheatre on an Amman city tour. 
2. Eat early, leave the hotel and travel along the Desert Highway on the road to Petra. Enjoy a spectacular full day tour in the rose-red city of Petra. Enjoy a short horse ride, and then travel on foot through the awesome SIQ valley. Visit the Treasury, and explore hundreds of buildings, tombs, temples and C1st AD 3,000-seat theatre.
3. See the complex ancient Mosaic map of the Holy Land at Madaba. Visit Mt Nebo where Moses viewed the Promised Land be­fore his passing. Explore remains of the Byzantine Church with a mo­saic floor, and from a platform in front of the church enjoy awesome views across Jordan Valley and Dead Sea. In the after­noon cross the border, to Tel Aviv. 
4. Farewell the group & guides. Visit Tel Aviv at your leisure

The Uri Geller Museum Tel Aviv was another of his much loved tours, feat­ur­ing Geller’s Peace Cadillac, 2000+ spoons, his 1963 Vespa, Sal­vador Dali sculptures, items from John Lennon, Picasso, Andy Warhol, Alb­ert Einstein and Sigmund Freud. The museum also features an incredible discovery found during the rest­oration of the 1000 year old building, a well preserved Ottoman era soap factory! A beaut­iful terrace under the gigantic arches over­looks the Mediterranean.

Leading a group around Old Jerusalem

He trained his tour operators and guides well. Toon Van Rompay wrote: Today, I lost my mentor, my boss, but most import­antly, my good friend Peter. I came to Israel for my wife. Peter gave me all the opportunities to make sure I could stay in the coun­try. He gave my job as a tour operator when I first arrived, and trained me. He let me do the tour guide course and I developed myself prof­es­sionally thanks to him. I will be forever in his debt. And he will be missed very hard. Peter, thank you for everything.

In all his travels, Peter never forgot Australia. In March 2017 in Euroa Victoria, the Israel Travel Centre hosted a luncheon to commemorate the 100th Anniversary of the Charge of Beersheba. The ev­ent was attended by notable dignitaries representing Ballarat, Sey­mour, Shepparton and Wangaratta RSL Sub-branches. Also there were MPs, senior committee members from Legacy Group, religious leaders and military historians. Attendees were privil­eg­ed to hear from Peter from the Israel Travel Centre. He recounted the miraculous and audacious Charge of Beersheba to commemorate the Charge. Then there was a dis­cussion on ways that the miraculous ANZAC legacy can be kept alive.

When my very fit son passed away at his gym class in April 2024 aged 51, it was a painful loss and a terrible shock. He was buried amongst the beautiful gum trees in Yarkon Cemetery Tel Aviv, a place where his heartbroken son can say mourner's Kaddish.






46 comments:

River said...

He had a wonderful life filled with so much adventure.

Andrew said...

It's just so awful Hels. No parent can ever prepare themselves for the loss of a child, especially unexpected and not someone at a gym, so he was presumably healthy enough. The pain must be hard to bear, and the world is clearly poorer for his loss. I am just so sorry.

Yael said...

I'm so sorry Hels.

Hels said...

River

He was the best adventurous and most travelled man I knew, loving his tours and working very well with all his multi lingual staff. Not only that, but Peter knew how fortunate he was. This February he spent his normal 3 weeks Australian stay with us, and although Covid and Hamas terrorism had made life dangerous, he was still very very pleased with his life.

Hels said...

Andrew

losing a close family member never makes sense, but losing a healthy, young and hardworking relative is beyond tragic. Had my son ever hurt anyone in the past? Were Joe and I being punished? Was the family not religious enough? I still don't understand anything :(

Hels said...

Yael

went Peter went on aliya, he had decided to live the happiest and most productive life he could, both for his own family and to help the quality of Israeli life. I was so proud of him.

Rachel Phillips said...

Thank you for publishing this Hels as I have to say I had been wondering about your son since picking up on a comment you made elsewhere. I have been thinking about you. You gave him a great start in life and freedom and love to do as he wished. What more can a good parent do? Life is a mystery to us all and all the things that happen. I truly wish I had gone on one of his tours.

Margaret D said...

Oh my goodness Hels. I'm so sorry for your loss, condolences to you and your family.
Such a shock when it happens so suddenly to a healthy young man, for 51 is young.
It appears by what you wrote he had a wonderful life enjoying it to the fullest.
Take care Hels, and know that we all care and are thinking of you and your family.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Dear Hels - I am so sorry to read this ... but it was interesting to see him and to learn more about his life - thank you for posting. With thoughts - Hilary

Hels said...

Rachel

I suspect most parents would like to keep their children within easy distance of the family home. So although we were proud of Peter's decisions, it wasn't easy when he went overseas to live. Thank goodness for email and Zoom... which we used at least twice a week.

Hopefully we were good parents....both of us tried so hard to create loving, confident and talented sons.

jabblog said...

It was hard for you to write this, Hels. Thank you. Your son lived his best life and must be sorely missed by all who knew and loved him. I hope there are answers to be found that will at least help you to understand why he died so young. Thinking of you. Janice.

Hels said...

Margaret

51 is so young :( Peter hadn't lived long enough to see his son Ben go to university, fulfil his army responsibilities or get married. But he took his son to sporting events and on tours of Israel, and gave him a wonderful 17 years.

I will give as much support as I can to my grieving daughter in law and grandson.

Hels said...

Hilary

he lived a fascinating, creative life, didn't he? And he occasionally wrote a fascinating travel post for my blog :) I hope he can read these comments from blog friends in heaven.

Hels said...

jabblog

Peter had smoked and been overweight until his marriage, but once he was old enough to understand the risks that middle aged men run with their hearts, he never smoked again. And as you can see from the photos, he was a good weight (and handsome).

After the 7 days of mourning in my home here in Melbourne, all the men from his 1990 Matriculation class at school booked their cardiologists for an annual test. Their mothers have thanked me.

DUTA said...

I'm devastated by your post, Hels! Such an awful loss - the first born at the mere age of 51, a successful, interesting, caring human being!
May God strenghten you and family during this period of grief and beyond!

Hels said...

DUTA

I lived in Israel for 3 years myself as a young woman, and I know how excited Peter was to fulfil his life dreams. His house, family and tour agency were all important to him, as were all his cousins who they shared shabbatot and yom tovim with.

We would love to give a memorial scholarship in Peter's name to his old (Hebrew speaking) school in Melbourne, to keep his memory going for the next generation of students.

Dr. F said...

Helen:

My wife and I lost our first born son at the age of 57 a year ago, and it is natural to feel guilt as well as sadness. But please don't think that you were not religious enough. To raise a son like yours is the height of religion. Coincidentally, tomorrow Catholics all over the world will hear these words of St. Peter .


In truth, I see that God shows no partiality.
Rather, in every natio whoever fears him and acts uprightly
Is acceptable to him.

Liam Ryan said...

I'm sorry for your loss Hels.

My heart goes out to you and your family during this time.

I must say that I was smiling reading this blog post though. Peter sounds like an exceptional guy with a real adventurer spirit.

For me, I really want to visit Israel in the future with close friends & go hiking and see the historical sites and beautiful landscape etc. And some art of course, and maybe learn some Hebrew. I was looking at Peter’s tour company’s plans and routes on your post, and it sounds really fun and exciting. If probably a little exhausting. Hehe!! It would have been fun to have met him. :)

Even though I don't know him; when I do visit Israel, I will remember this post & him.

Much love and strength as you navigate this journey.

Liam

David Schorr said...

So sorry for your loss. Peter sounds like a wonderful person.
David

Fun60 said...

No parent should ever outlive their children and I am so sorry for your loss. You must be so proud of the man he became and what he achieved.

hels said...

Liam
Thank you.
Hebrew is a difficult language to learn but you will love the tours. Let me know what you think, after you finish the tour(s) and I will message my son

hels said...

David
Did you stop your blog? I would have thanked you personally. Peter was an excited Israeli and a talented tour organiser.

hels said...

Fun60
There is an order to the world, yes. And although we wept endlessly for our older parents, burying a child or grandchild unforgivable.

Hels said...

Dr F
I am so sorry you lost a young son as well. If you live to 90, the pain will never go away.

It occurred to me at 3 am this morning that my guilt feeling returned because I once hit my son. I never ever hit either son before (or since) but in 1984, he asked me to take off 3 days of work to watch his soccer carnival. On the way out of the front door he changed his mind and went to school. I was hurt by his behaviour but shocked by mine.

Katerinas Blog said...

I am so sorry for your loss Hels!

hels said...

Katerina
I always knew that people died tragically, through war, car accidents or disease. It is in the newspaper every day. But you never think of it happening in your own family or friends.
We have to find ways of keeping the previous memories alive, via photos, book donations, scholarships and Facebook pages.

Rosemary said...

I am sad to learn this news about your beloved son Hels. Parents should not have to face such devastating news. He sounds to have been a remarkable man who led a full and interesting life. Thinking of you and your husband Joseph at this difficult time.

Handmade in Israel said...

ברוך דיין האמת. I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a son is something that we now both share. Thinking of you.

Luiz Gomes said...

Meus sentimentos, mesmo que atrasados minha querida amiga. Deus conforto console os corações de vocês.

hels said...

Rosemary
I think we make a lot of decisions in our young lives, having the first baby being the most important decision. We were living in relative poverty back then, but he was a total delight.

hels said...

Lisa
Did you ever recover enough to lead the rest of your life in peace, if not happiness? My grandchildren have been wonderful, but it the loss is still palpable.

Handmade in Israel said...

No, very soon it will be two years. I think and cry for my son every single day. Life goes on, but in a different way.

Hels said...

Did you have any warning? I tended to think that had my son been ill, mentally or physically, there might have been some time to prepare for the loss. But probably there is no way a parent can ever prepare the loss of a much loved child :(

Hels said...

Luiz

Thank you. I didn't think condolences would help, but when friends and family turned up to mourn with me in my house for the first seven days of shiva, it actually made my heart feel marginally softer. People really do care.

Handmade in Israel said...

No warning at all. I was in the UK visiting my father when my son died.

Pradeep Nair said...

I'm so sorry. My heartfelt condolences, Hels. Peter led an adventurous, happy, and successful life. He was also helpful to others in realising their aspirations regarding travel and tours. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Hels said...

Pradeep

that is absolutely true. Not only did he live the life he loved, he also got great pleasure in helping others live their dreams. So many people wrote condolence notices to me in Australia, sharing the pleasure they had enjoyed on Peter's tours.

Joe said...

Handmade

I hope you got back from the UK, in time for the funeral and shiva period.
I was in Australia when Ichilov Hospital rang to say to come quickly.. they would keep my son Peter on heart machines till I got to say there goodbye. It was a terrible 8 days, but I am grateful they waited for me for the funeral.

mem said...

I am so very very Sorry . This just our most awful nightmare to lose a son . My thoughts are with you and your family . Marianne

Hels said...

mem

Thank you. I spoke to my daughter in law today, now a young widow raising my grandson without Ben's father. The pain is everywhere... and probably won't ever fade.

mem said...

I am living with this dread . One of my sons is quite ill and his passing is an ever present fear . I am so sorry . Truly words are so inadequate .

Hels said...

mem

I had NO warning so there nothing was done to prepare the family, nor to spend as much time as humanly possible with my son. I hope you son is healthy and well until he is 90, but just in case, do lots of joyous things with him and take heaps of photos in the meantime. I wish you all well.

Mandy said...

Oh no Hels, I am so, so sorry for your loss. Thank you for writing such a detailed story of Peter's life. He is my age, I like to think that he might have crossed paths with my friends who made aliya at the same time. I wish you a long life and may his memory always be a blessing for you and your family.

Hels said...

Mandy

I lived in Israel for 2.5 years, many decades ago, but my commitment to staying wasn't as strong as my son's. He was passionate about what Israel gave to him and, as you can tell from the post, what he gave to Israel.

Thank you for calling yourself a serial expat with dual South African and British nationality :) Peter also spent a LOT of time travelling, both for business and to catch up with his family and friends. It was a life he loved.

Be healthy!

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Hels said...

Canaways,
even years after my son established his travel agency in Israel, he still spent many of his yearly trips to British nations - Australia, New Zealand, India, Canada and of course South Africa. [France and China came later].